Monday, August 07, 2006

How to Succesfully Debate a War

They say that war is the continuation of politics using other means.I 'd argue it's rather the other way around.The homo sapiens is a lazy species, concetrating his efforts in devising ways to make life easier for him.Since we all know that blowing your opponent to kingdom come is easier (and more satisfying) than endless negotiations, we can safely assume that war is the normal condition of mankind, with times of peace as the intervals between wars.
Although this argument can be backed up by ages of experience, one has still a hard time explaining this in casual conversation.(Lots of female faces "horrified by the very idea" and so on).So you have break it gently.
Since we have a current war as an ideal example, let's cut to specifics:

a.You always (ALWAYS) start with strong condemnation of war as a brutal practise, and loudly (and i mean LOUDLY) express your heartbreak over "all those innocent women and children"...oh, the horror, how my heart bleeds,I can hardly sleep at nights (there's no overdoing this...everyone will go along with as far as you wanna go with this one).
b.You go to extra lengths to convince you audience that you condemn equally both participants in the conflict: History,geography and economics are left out of the equation.You erase all past (which "feeds the endless cycle of violence") thus equatting killer and victim in their "reluctance to solve this through diplomacy and restraint".
c.Now, the tricky part.We all know deep inside that "b" is for "bullshit".Of course you have a favourite side in the war, and of course you cheer when they turn the opponent's country into a pulp.The secret is NOT to root openly for your favourite team.The proper way is through a long but safer detour: you attack the opponent's defenders!It can go like this" Of course, the Islamofascist defenders/Zionist pigs will want you to think that they are the poor victims".You can enlist "voices from the inside" to score extra points: the "irsaeli who condemns his country's aggresion" and the "lebaneze friend who told me he secretly wants Israel to rid him of Hezzbolah" are a dime a dozen these days.Let them do your dirty work for you.
d.The rest is easy: you weaseled your way into supporting your favourite team, all the while gaining the sympathy of the ladies as a "champion for peace".You can now safely label anyone disagreeing with you as "partisan" and "part of the problem and not the solution",and anything other you can think of that begins with "pa-"(patriotic, pacifist,paternalistic, the list is endless).
Enjoy your war!

4 Comments:

Blogger Τυπος Νυχτερινος said...

Gia rikse mia matia edw

mporei na s' aresei

smouts see u in sept.

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